This past month or so...

So sorry I haven't been on top of things here, and everywhere.  I will say that I've been feeling overwhelmed with everything this last month and then some.  Maybe too many irons in the fire, but I didn't put some of them there...

Continued dissatisfaction with my Dr., so this next visit I'm asking for a referral to a different trial.  That means, no, I don't think the trial I'm on is having more of an effect on me than to stabilize the tumors and cause me to have bloody noses.  I ask my Dr. to be more aggressive and I get wait and see.  I think that's more a problem with oncology in general.

The commute is taxing...especially considering that I don't believe I'm benefiting from the chemo.  They are having trouble getting authorizations from my insurer for services, CT scans.  At the time they reach me on this, literally the afternoon before the services, I'm packed and ready to leave, not in a good place to deal with the insurer.  See what happens when we get there I guess...

Overall, I'm doing ok, still fighting, but very frustrated and feeling overwhelmed.

I think that's the best I can summarize.

Since last time I was able to get some of my appointments rescheduled so I don't have to miss such vital days at work.  That was good.  Unfortunately on those days I'm rescheduled for I see my Dr.'s resident rather than my Dr.  I don't think much of the resident...  I'm convinced that I've been lead to this trial just for some kind of benefit to my Dr.  This trial has really born out to cause me a lot of nose bleeds, run me down requiring a lot of sleep, constant night sweats, and really impact my work with the amount of time I have to take off just to participate in the trial.

As I've said, I don't think the trial is working for me and we'll get confirmation or contradiction of that on the 23rd.  Regardless I plan to ask for a referral to a trial in SF that I am really excited about, mostly because it won't require infusion, but because it will be PO(by mouth) and one of the pills has been good to me in the past.  Also, SF will be a little closer which will help.